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February 16, 2019

Five things we don’t want to see in a Halloween bag

The worst father in the entire world? Ronald Clark O’Bryan — the notorious “Candyman” of suburban Houston who, in 1974, planted a cyanide-tainted Pixie Stick in his own 8-year-old son’s bag of Halloween treats in order to collect on a life insurance policy.

Ronald was executed by lethal injection a decade later, but the story of this murder has lingered as a warning. Halloween had forever lost its innocence.

Fears of poison, razors or pins means that no one hands out apples and popcorn balls anymore. Ditto unwrapped candy.

But candy doesn’t have to be potentially lethal to be tossed out of the treat bag. In the spirit of spooky sweets, here are five offbeat treats that we really don’t want to see in little Billy or Tiffany’s Halloween candy bag.

5. Tequila-flavored lollipop with a worm in the center. If the kid in question is over 21 years old, sure, let him or her make his own informed decision. Toddlers, however, really shouldn’t be messing with tequila or worms.

4. Candy-covered scorpions. As tempting as they sound…no.

Mommy look! Crick-ettes!

3. Crick-ettes. Some hors d’oeuvres that are perfectly suited to a sterling canape tray really miss the boat as trick-or-treat offerings. We’ll suggest Crick-ettes as an example. Real, edible dried crickets are featured in several flavor combinations, including salt ‘n vinegar, bacon-and-cheese or sour cream and onion. True, they’re only nine calories per serving (healthier, perhaps, than a Kit-Kat bar), but they might inspire a few prepubescent nightmares.

2. Absinthe gumballs. One of the many remarkable confectionary creations from the Seattle-based Archie McPhee company — whose product line also includes “Bubble Gum Cocktail Weenies” and “Brain-Flavored Zombie Mints” — these chewy treats promise to create young Baudelaires out of poetic youngsters who start out chewing absinthe gumballs and progress, in short order, to heavier addictions.

1. Tasty Turd Cookies. In this day and age, no one would dare drop one of these unwrapped confections into a Halloween bag. But for very close personal friends and relatives, these lifelike chocolate “movements” could be a real ice-breaker at a party. Use squares of toilet paper instead of napkins for a real party favor to remember.

Via: blogs.pitch.com

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